Thankfully we are given some insight in to how to make amends through steps 8 and 9. But amends are so much more than just making a list and saying you are sorry, and this is where it becomes important to understand the difference between making an amends and making an apology. Working Step 9 is challenging and you’ll likely need support and assistance as you work through it. At Eudaimonia Recovery Homes, we provide personalized recovery support with comfortable sober living Austin, Houston, and Colorado Springs. Undoubtedly, you, too, have a list of ways in which you want to live out your living amends, and that’s great! The more personalized your lifestyle changes are, the more they’re going to resonate and stick with you.

living amends

If you aren’t able to make direct amends, then you can volunteer your time or help someone else out. Making amends is more than just an apology, it’s changing your life around and changing your ways; eliminating the destructive behaviors that were once part of your life. The origin of living amends in modern use relates to addiction recovery and substance abuse treatment. However, in the context of grief recovery, David Kessler, in his book Finding Meaning, talks about the importance of living amends as a tool for grief healing.

Promises to do things differently

Even so, you will have done all that you can to take responsibility for the past—and there’s a level of peace and freedom in that as well. How the other person chooses to respond to our amends is out of our control. You, at least, have done your best and can now move on. Completing Step 9 is the next step forward in recovery, regardless of how the other person responds. Some of these same things can happen to the other person in the process.

living amends

We believe that having the recipient help pay the bills empowers them and gives them a stake in their sobriety. living amends is a third option for those in the ninth step of recovery. With this option, the individual in recovery takes steps to improve their relationships and demonstrate their lifestyle change.

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It’s not our job to quicken their process of accepting us any more than it was their job to help us get sober. Forgiveness may not come on our timetable, but what gives us the right to set the timetable? Maybe they got sick of watching the addiction destroy us and our family.

  • At Living Amends, we strive to ensure that each recipient of our scholarship can get the on-going support they need to stay sober.
  • When applying for the scholarship for the second and third months, the applicant must fill out the form below and complete the 2nd and 3rd-month essay to Living Amends.
  • Once all terms are agreed too, we will transfer the funds directly to the sober living facility.
  • Our scholarships give individuals the chance to invest in their long-term recovery through the sober living programs we partner with.
  • Children see it all for what it is, not what we’ve promised.
  • They may choose to make living amends by promising to change their ways and become more helpful to others.

Instead, as you pursue a life in recovery, focus on being generous with your time and giving back to others. In this way, you can take the focus off of yourself and choose to live a life of greater meaning. It’s much easier to just apologize and move on, but committing to living your life differently looks different. Making these types of life improvements typically requires that you work with a counselor or therapist who can provide an outsider’s perspective and objective view of your life. Making these types of life changes is difficult and requires lots of hard, emotionally-complex work, but it’s worth all the effort in the end. When someone is alive and you’ve hurt them, amends are more straightforward.